Birth Trauma & Postpartum PTSD
What pregnant woman doesn’t anticipate what it will be like to be in labour? To have that moment when the sweet baby you have carried inside you for months is placed on your chest and you get to hold them for the first time? We create these ideas of what our labour and newborn experience will look like. These often include partner’s rubbing backs during contractions, a comically-stressful car ride to the hospital or a relaxed home birth supported by your doula. A dad cutting the cord. We dream about that moment when a family is born. A baby latching or cooing as they find the familiar voices of their parents. And that moment when you get to pack up your little one and bring them home for the first time.
We are told over and over that this will be one of the best moments of our life.
But, what if it isn’t?
Sometimes things don’t go as we imagined.
When you think about your birth and labour experience, are you able to look back on it fondly or are you overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings? These can be caused by feeling a lack of control during a complicated labour experience, difficulty breastfeeding, or the result of medical complications like an emergency c-section or pre-term labour.
Birth Trauma is More Common Than You Think
PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is the complication we don’t dream about. It is estimated that up to 25% of mothers feel their birth experience was disempowering or traumatic. Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and emotional turmoil are some of the most common symptoms. These can be triggered in a number of ways. Maybe it’s driving past the hospital. Or seeing a photo of a friend’s newborn on social media. For some, these flashbacks or intrusive thoughts get in the way as you try to re-establish intimacy with your partner in the bedroom. They can include fear of being touched or an inability to relax.
Common symptoms that your traumatic birth has evolved into PTSD can include:
• Re-living aspects of the trauma (intrusive thoughts and images; nightmares; distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma)
• Feeling on edge or hyper-alert (being easily upset, angry, irritable; being easily startled; having difficulty concentrating)
• Suppressing feelings or memories (avoiding situations or people that remind you of the trauma; feeling detached/emotionally numb; keeping busy to distract yourself; being unable to remember aspects of the event; using alcohol or drugs to avoid memories)
• Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling.
• Sleep difficulties.
Both mothers giving birth and their partners can experience the effects of PTSD after a complicated birth. This is especially true for parent’s whose babies are admitted to the NICU. Mothers who experience symptoms typically do so immediately after the birth o while fathers and partners tend to have a delayed response and experience symptoms up to 4-6 months later.
Counselling Can Help –My Approach Using EMDR Therapy
Traumatic memories are stored in our brains and bodies differently than other types of memory. It is hard to fully process them using talk therapy alone. At Firefly Counselling, I use a mix of EMDR therapy and talk therapy to help address these stuck feelings, memories and sensations so you can focus on the here and now. EMDR therapy is a proven and effective treatment to address flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive thoughts caused by birth trauma.
My passion is to help new mothers and fathers address their built-up emotional baggage so they can make space to become the type of parent and person they are meant to be. So you can focus fully on the here and now with your new family and create healthy attachments that will last a lifetime.
Please see my EMDR page for more information.
I thought I was Fine Until It Was Time to Decide if Our Family is Complete
These stuck feelings and flashbacks can become particularly troublesome if you want to have more children in the future. How do you overcome the fear of another terrifying experience that pushed you to the edge of what you could handle physically and emotionally? For some parents, it is not until they are facing the need to decide about further children or when they become pregnant again that they realize they have not fully processed their feelings about their difficult birth. I can help you find a place of acceptance regarding your traumatic birth experience so you can decide if your family is complete without your fears of your past birth trauma making the decision for you.
How Will You Describe Their Birth to Your Child?
Your child’s birth is a story you will tell over and over again as they grow. They will be curious about what happened and how those first moments were for your family and ask you about all the little details. Counselling can help you find peace with the trauma and be able to tell the story about the birth of your child as a beautiful, powerful moment that you can share with your child for a lifetime.
